plane rides can be the most enjoyable thing ever – solitude, new friends, free drinks (for $400 a ticket, right never mind), pillows you must return, a movie you may not hear if you don’t purchase earphones, and a snack for 4 hours on a plane… yes, enjoyable. There’s something mysterious and magical for me when I fly over the US in any number of directions, for any number of purposes. But none so intriguing or special as I’ve had in the past few weeks. The joy known as winter weather affected me at the one layover i never expected to have a problem – Las Vegas. Apparently it snows there sometimes, just an FYI. Needless to say, I arrived home in Pennsylvania tired, overwhelmed, and pretty much rea, dy to just do nothing, which includes: showering, answering the phone, talking, reading, watching tv… i pretty much looked forward to sleeping. Yup. Check. Did that well. Except for the jetlag… we’re still arguing over that one today. (By we I refer to the voices in my head.)
Home brought a myriad of emotions. You know them: you’d pay anyone anything to get you out of your parents house (the disadvantage to taking your car across the country – no vehicle to use whenever you want!) Then there’s missing the new friends from school who are scattered across the country – to contact or not to contact;. We all need space, right? I sure did. Then there’s the realization that life at ‘home’ is no longer what you remember it. My parents moved two years ago. The grew up in one house (there was 1 year somehwere else, but that doesn’t count, as I have no memories of said house.).This new house is fine, but it’s not home. What remains of my “stuff” is in boxes, all my actuall “stuff” still sat in Pasadena. If i forgot it, I forgot it. Target or WalMart seemed a bit asinine – I didn’t feel like waiting an hour in line to purchase the better soap, i’ll just borrow my sisters (shhhh!).
So why is it then that in the midst of feeling so not really at home, sad to see my parents changing and huriting, yet joyful to have teh children home, that I found myself almost lamenting returning to school. I’m sitting here, writing on the first day of classes, where I thought i was so excited to be headed back three days, not so much excited. I mean, it’ll be great to see people, and to continue building and forging relationships with people around this place.
Then it hit me. It takes work. Everything I do at Fuller takes work: I work in Admissions typing away feverishly (make sure you e-mail my boss and tell him that, k?), I do homework (tell my profs that!) which according to hits linguistic roots is indeed “work,” I do things. For some reason, I didn’t like the concept of realzing that friendships, relationships all take work. It takes a daily choice to continue a friendship, build a friendship, start a friendship, even end a friendship. I apparently wanted a “free” pass around GO when it came to this part of my adventure on the West Coast. Apparently when I arrived here, I figured God knew so much to get me here, provide in crazy amazing ways, that i would clearly NOT be needing to have to work at the thing I do most naturally – share life with others in relationship. See, home, for me, either Pennsylvania or Indiana (another day, another weblog), it doesn’t feel like work. I get home, and everyone wants my attention. Everyone wants to catch up, I don’t have to make 100 phone calls to invite people, walk up to people and feel comfortable being myself, insecure about myself, nothing. They already accept me.
Funny part of that story, moving here, hasn’t really solidified or continued a lot of those close frienships back at “home” either… apparently I’ve got something a little screwed up in my head lately. God’s people aren’t gods, and neither am I… it’s time to get to work, at a lot of things this year… it’s time I accept that everything I do is work, it’s a matter of knowing that this is fun work! It’s fun to be with people, in their lives, sharing together. It’s fun to be in class and have your head spin. It’s fun to play with friends. It’s fun to laugh at work. It’s hard, it’s all hard stuff, but I think my call in life isn’t to dwell on the hard, but to embrace the fun of today… i wonder if I’m ready for that challenge… welcome to 2007, it shall indeed be a fun ride.