those moments when things just click, and suddenly not only motivation, but passion, anger, craziness, sadness, joy, and sorrow all fill your heart are beyond wild. they’re beyond crazy. heck, they are beyond normal.
but it happened the last two days. i get it. i get something i never got before. and don’t get me wrong, i don’t get it. i don’t get it at all. but i do get something about me that i never quite comprehended. i get my passion in a way that never seemed to click before. i see a part of me that never seemed to make sense. hell, i never wanted it to make sense. i mean, there’s a part of me that would be perfectly fine with not having it ‘understood,’ but i do.
God is so freaking wild some days… i don’t get like 100 million parts to the next week of my life. i don’t get how i’m even going to get everything done. i don’t get how i am going to not get sick. i don’t get why i need to get it all done. but i do get that it’s time to hunker down and go. and i’ve done it tonight, gotten 3.5 pages written, 1 full page of single spaced notes for what’s to come, and the realization that the end is in sight.
i am so excited for monday, for my presentation, to knock my own socks off my feet. to blow the door open, and slap myself, let alone everyone else’s faces upside themselves. i’m ready to say, ‘here i am, lord.’ and just watch what the aftereffects could possibly be. i’m ready… i really am.