i could hold you in my arms

i took a long nap this afternoon – it appeared i caught some random bug for like 24 hours, and even with 12 hours of sleep last night, i needed a 3 hour nap at 3 in the afternoon. did i mention how much i hate naps? my drive back to Pasadena last night was miserable – i tried to hide it, but i seriously thought at one point i might have passed out. at home i discovered a 103 temp. WHAT?

there are multiple reasons for hating naps – namely, i can’t fall asleep at night. (this is even more ironic, in that i just told a friend yesterday that i the one thing i have never struggled with is insomnia. welcome to the 1:35 am blog)

so instead, i’ve been looking at my old posts, from months ago, years ago even. between this reading and today’s daily introspection (a repeated Saturday experience in the land of Libby), i find myself quite disturbed. i’m far more insecure than i ever wanted to admit in writing (well, except i often do here). i’m disturbed.

then of course, there’s this other thought i’ve had all day long… God has been overwhelmingly revealing to me just how many power trips i surge (ha, so unintended) toward.

what is God doing? my head is overwhelmed. ridiculously overwhelmed with thoughts, and this blog has turned into one smörgåsbord. (I loved learning that word in a Babysitter’s Club book.)

what am I doing with my life? what is God doing with me? why can’t i just move past some things?

::firefly::..:.:.:over the rhine:.:.:


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