desire to be a blessing

those period of time when God is trying to realy teach a lesson to us, sometimes are the hardest, and frankly, most frustrating moments that life can provide. This is not to say that I don’t want to grow, but occasionally, I want growth to be easy. There are things I want to change, to grow, and to improve upon, without having to make it such a daily struggle.

And yet, here I am, as a child and immature brat, unwilling to really surrender parts of myself. I refuse to grow, and I want to slap God, wrestle with him and prove that I know a better way to grow. People think I’m funny? I mean, God must laugh like nothing else with me some days. “oooh, Libby.”

I’m going to be that 80 year old who still wrestles aren’t I? I should have been called Jacob, I think…


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