what a lonely night

I distinctly recall the day I “discovered” the concept of the Christian subculture. I was livid. It wasn’t even a “kind of” mad, or a “slightly” disturbed. When it clicked in my head, I was dismayed, jolted, and ill.

Did I want to be a part of that cultural phenomenon? No. Was I? yes. Ugh, what happened to myself? My parents weren’t Christians when I was early on growing up, but the correct type of lifestyle: republican/conservative, was certainly shoved into the framework that I was supposed to accept and eventually claim.

The reality is that when we run from the Christian subculture, we seem to only run into other subcultures. Whether it’s the Fuller subculture, the collegiate subculture, the Los Angeles subculture, etc., the reality is that we run. We run, avoid, etc. and back into something else. We buy into consumerism at a number of different levels. Americans in particular are never really content. I can’t think of many people whom I know that I could comfortably say are content with their lives, let alone the exterior world around them.

Is it that we can’t buy our way to contentment, love, security, happiness, or any number of other “its” that we don’t have. I’m not sure. But I’m stating to think more and more that this subculture phenomenon isn’t just about thinking that Christian subculture is hokey, silly, annoying or just plain ol’ silly. The reality is that we are afraid of ourselves and our mistakes – of our own hokiness. I always have hated mirrors…

:::..::::take it back::::..:::.:::…::::katie herzig::::…:::

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3 responses to “what a lonely night

  1. Libby!! I am now officially done teaching. Give me a call sometime tomorrow (or whenever you get the chance) so we can get caught up!

  2. There you are! I know when you don’t have time to blog, you’re really busy. I hope you’ve caught your breath. I am staring at the gorgeous Puget Sound. Can’t take my eyes off it. I wish I had that view every morning like I’ve had at Mark’s this last week. Just stunning.

    Just wanted to let you know I love you and will be in Mexico for a week on a house building mission trip. Peace girl.

  3. Karen Elizabeth

    so I have been thinking about your post on disillusionment for the last week. I think I’ve been in a such a state for most of my life:) It seems that every time I think I’ve passed through into some form of understanding, I find that I know nothing at all. And beyond that, I didn’t even know that I didn’t know. But like you were saying, I’m okay with that. I have to be, it’s my life.
    hope all is well!

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